if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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