he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
