sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I die, sorry about rent.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
