It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
