I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
