Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
