I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it's like heaven, but drunker
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think people are normalizing furries
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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