I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
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Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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