You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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