Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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