Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize