She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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