Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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