Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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