roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So vagazzling was a success
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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