I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
