me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
