i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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