if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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