Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
