we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
