no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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