Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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