whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
