what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
