i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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