I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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