He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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