My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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