No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize