also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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