Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a beard to bite.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I forget how to act sober
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
