At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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