So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
