i just had sex bonerless
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
