hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
