I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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