chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
