If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
