OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
