I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
