I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
