I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
