What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
