this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize