I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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