im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
