Your tits are I can't wait for
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
