Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
