i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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