it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
