ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
