A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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