I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This baby is an asshole
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
