Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
