Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
