it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
