First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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