I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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