I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
