It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
