the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.