"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Damn victory sex feels great