Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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(920): The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina http://tfl.nu/dlly

Replies (28) Good night (1393) Bad night (3817)
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(315): View more from New York

he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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(315): he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate http://tfl.nu/wroe

Replies (24) Good night (986) Bad night (5172)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

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(612): I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm http://tfl.nu/twuk

Replies (21) Good night (3785) Bad night (4595)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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(901): Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out? http://tfl.nu/cfeo

Replies (29) Good night (6185) Bad night (1320)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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(703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d

Replies (4) Good night (2561) Bad night (1152)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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(717): It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade http://tfl.nu/l96w

Replies (9) Good night (4692) Bad night (1176)
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(417): View more from Missouri

how was ur day?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

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(417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7

Replies (13) Good night (6650) Bad night (1433)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon

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(202): When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle. (202): We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon http://tfl.nu/62rc

Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (618)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party

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(416): Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party http://tfl.nu/rykd

Replies (4) Good night (1344) Bad night (557)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So Monday we're lesbians.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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(717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin

Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (586)
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(253): View more from Washington

Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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(253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y

Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (363)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.

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(641): I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it. http://tfl.nu/0z7a

Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (873)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0

(609): View more from New Jersey

GET HOME NOW

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Oh shit

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(609): First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0 (609): GET HOME NOW (1-609): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ad19

Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (502)
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(214): View more from Texas

Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

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(214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl

Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (506)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...

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(712): I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive... http://tfl.nu/8mj3

Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (519)

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