Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
