I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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