I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize