I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
